Feeling Like a Fraud? Imposter Syndrome Runs Rampant at Sciences Po

Let’s dive into what now feels like the far past, the days before we first stepped foot into this building, prior to entering this town where the sun burns brightly on our heads and the beach is always in sight. Let’s take a few steps back — before the airport, trains, days of packing, and, for some, the dreadful visa process and frenzied struggle for housing. Let’s return to the days when we were all passionate, wide-eyed high-schoolers with worries and heaps of dreams — filled with stress about assignments and exams, but most of all: university applications. Each of us, no matter our origin, social class or passions, has one thing in common: the sleepless nights and coffee-fueled essays that formed our application to Sciences Po —an application that, luckily for us, was approved by admissions.

Now fast-forward. You are here amid all the other once wide-eyed high-schoolers-turned university students, surrounded by fascinating individuals with varying insights and what seems to be a never-ending stream of knowledge of global events. I initially felt thrilled by the multitude of stimulating conversations I saw myself having for the next two years.

Our “Myths and Stereotypes in the Mediterranean” lecture during Integration Week satisfied my anticipation. This lecture not only had two captivating and knowledgeable professors but also students from diverse backgrounds with ranging observations, who would stand up to share them with the class, creating dialogue like I never had before. However, it was not long until this excitement turned almost into a fear, which had me shaking and reciting my lines before I stood up to speak. This emotion quickly highlighted the double-sided coin of Sciences Po — the cheerfulness that accompanies these vibrant exchanges and the feeling that my opinions are neither intelligent nor worthy of expression.

During the first week of classes, I only felt this feeling grow stronger. Ironically, though I started to warm up to this environment, I became increasingly insecure. One day that struck me was Sept. 5, 2022, the Rentrée Solennelle. This is the day when we dress up, take pictures with our friends, and get ready to greet Sciences Po Director Mathias Vicherat. It is also the day we suffer through the same redundant and stereotypical speeches about how we are the “best of the best” and deserve our place in this selective university. After long minutes of feeling disillusioned by Sciences Po’s ego and undeserving of receiving these compliments, it was time for the valedictorian Lilou-Ornella D’Inca’s speech. Here, we finally got a different narrative as she shared her struggles during her first semester concerning what she referred to as “imposter syndrome.” It was then that I felt myself finally exhale, relax and realize that I am not alone. At this moment, I pinpointed the feeling that had been eating me up for the past few days: The feeling that I do not belong and would soon get exposed as a fraud who cheated the application system. Knowing that all of this was simply a case of imposter syndrome, an affliction that runs deep enough in the institution to be the topic of our opening ceremony, I vowed to explore more.

Firstly, I find it crucial to address the elitism of Sciences Po, the title of this institution, especially in France, and its contribution to imposter syndrome. As students of Sciences Po, we are often referred to as “l’élite de la nation,” not only by people outside this university but also by the university itself. This expression puts unrealistic expectations and pressure on the students to outperform the rest of the nation. Indeed, we have an incredible advantage being here due to the opportunities we are given, but as expressed by a friend of mine: “I don’t feel like the elite.”

I started having conversations with the student body to unpack this phenomenon further. A common sentiment among Sciences Pistes is that “[they] feel like [they] don’t belong here.” This refrain was so widespread that it suggests a universal feeling of alienation. This outcome shocked me. How is it possible that in a place referred to as our “Ummah Mentonniya,” where diversity is celebrated, and inclusivity is central, many students feel as though they do not belong?

Of course, each person has a unique reason for feeling imposter syndrome, but through my conversations, I found some general patterns. Firstly, students who struggle with the language of their track feel less intelligent than they are because they find it difficult to express themselves accurately. As declared by an anonymous 1A in English track, “I feel like I have to work harder than my peers.” An anonymous 1A French track brought up varying family backgrounds as a reason for imposter syndrome, stating, “we come from sometimes less rich environments.”

Through further dialogue, I learned about a more personal characteristic of imposter syndrome, which stems from comparing yourself to others, primarily academically, and through this comparison, feeling insecure in your abilities. “The problem is that everyone seems so secure and confident,” said another Sciences Piste. This sentiment was corroborated by a Reims student who admitted that class discussions often seem “performative,” making it “intimidating to speak.” This finding suggests that this feeling is not Menton-exclusive but rather a global Sciences Po issue.

What can we learn from this? Firstly, we are not alone, and these feelings of doubt are normal as we have entered an unfamiliar environment. Indeed it is more challenging for some than others. However, we all have some control over this feeling through our mindset. Imposter syndrome depends on self-doubt and the impression of estrangement. Therefore, the remedy combines confidence in our abilities and a supportive community, both of which are within our control. Confidence takes time, care, and work, but the first step is to recognize that we are all here to learn and expect that we do not have all the answers. As expressed in another conversation with an English track 1A, “we all have something to bring even if we aren’t sure what it is yet.” Likewise, we should not be afraid to share our thoughts as there must be something worthwhile in them; doing so is also the most effective way through which we can improve. The same student also conveyed how having a supportive community helped her overcome her self-doubt and legitimized her position at Sciences Po.

I think this is what Yasmina Touaibia referred to in our welcome speech when she spoke of the “Ummah Mentonniya,” a place where Sciences Pistes learn through each other, express their worries and uplift one another. A place where one is not judged by how well they express themselves in a language they are unfamiliar with or their background. A place where it is not how much knowledge you have that matters but your passion and willingness to listen. After all, if we all feel as though we do not belong, then maybe, in our own complicated way, we all do.