March Issue
Maia Zasler and Maria Eirini Liodi
March
February 14th. A day marked in red on calendars around the globe. For better or worse, we prepare roses for our partner, bottles of wine for our “Galentine’s” soirées or gather stocks of chocolate for company in bed. Amidst the swirling romance and ka-ching! of capitalist cash flows, somewhere in the Côte d’Azur, some 400 students ponder their life decisions. Menton, nestled in the nook of Southern France, is but a blip in the grand scheme of life and love—a microcosm resembling normality.
Well, dear readers, Valentine’s Day has passed. Although remnants of love (and receipts from Société Générale) linger over a month later, there persists a pressing matter. In such a tight-knit academic environment, we may appreciate the privilege of exchanging ideas on constitutional law and climate policy with familiar faces, but navigating the same dating pool gets tedious to say the least. This got us thinking: In a limited (dried-up?) dating pool, is there hope for romantic dalliances in Menton? With an unbalanced male-to-female ratio, could those yearning for a man even find (catch, and then hold on to) one? Then we thought some more, and we configured a little word problem:
If the campus is about 70% female and 30% male, and of the women, 75% are available and heterosexual, and of the men, about half are gay and maybe 25% are in a relationship, how many available, straight men does that leave for the single women, keen and looking?
No need to do the math. We are not all EcoSoc majors. To put it simply, the answer is not a lot. And as it has been pointed out, this unequal dating capital has fostered an environment in which “straight men are aware that they have too many options and choose to either ‘play around sexually’ or emotionally manipulate” (Articulate Survey Respondent #1). Is “hookup” culture, then, even a viable option?
In such a small community, any sort of relation (wink, wink) is bound to get around. Gossip—a natural form of extending platonic intimacy—is inevitable. Thus, as eloquent as we Sciences Po students are, stories spread. Unless you don’t care about your personal business being aired, entering into any kind of relationship brands you with a respectable scarlet letter of sorts.
With all of these obstacles in mind, we had to ask: Did the Sciences Pistes spend Valentine’s Day alone?
From “Dry January Extended to Dry February” and “Eating Chocolate Alone in Bed” to “Galentine’s Drinks” and beyond, Sciences Po students were getting busy. Some of the ladies channeled Miley Cyrus and bought their own flowers, while others replaced love with a few rounds of poker. About 30% of respondents were even lucky enough to go on a date (although a couple were restricted to the virtual realm). Even if ‘alone,’ it seems that the mentonnais had no trouble occupying their time.
Our very professional—very halal—survey shone light on more than just February 14th-related activities. Be it perceptions of the dating scene, fear of judgement, or just difficulty navigating a multicultural dating scene, a plethora of factors seem to block Sciences Pistes in their pursuit of a fulfilled love life.
Maybe hookup culture isn’t the problem. People could be standing in the way of their own happiness, afraid of being the victims of dating gossip. Or maybe everyone is actually in a long-distance relationship (LDRs) and we just don’t know: 67% of those in relationships qualified as LDRs.
At 40 responses, we cannot claim that the distribution of survey results is entirely reflected in the Menton campus as a whole (but it is statistically significant!). It seems that the majority of those surveyed perceive a solution to the relationship drought as opening up perspectives, becoming more “progressive.” It is in fact “difficult to date when two people have the same circle, same habits, we know the same persons and are always gonna see each other again on campus.” Others were very candid in their thinking, with one respondent asserting: “Not enough hookups in Menton, the parties need to be spicier!!” (BDE, take notes.) But does it have to be that deep?
Human beings seek connection—romantic connections are just some in a wider umbrella. If we are mature enough to uproot our lives and move to this far-off place, find our own apartments, sustain ourselves with food (even if it is just pesto pasta), don’t we have the adult-ness to handle interactions with a past hookup or relationship with grace? This could be too much to ask for in a big city. But Menton is different. Things tend to be bigger in our heads (no pun intended).
It seems that over 60% of our respondents perceive the Menton relationship culture to be heavily dominated by hookups, while another 30% of respondents view dating culture as pervasive. A few argued that Menton is a mix. What we found to be most accurate was the perception of the 2.5%. These individuals argued that the predominant culture persists as “gossiping about who everyone else is seeing?” and “complaining about the lack of options.”
Yet, the vast majority of respondents indicated that the issue with relationships in general in Menton is that everyone is going to find out, and there’s almost shame… but the ummah is not hooking up very often. Less than a third of respondents reported having sex on a weekly basis—but 40% are in a relationship. And only 30% of respondents are more content with their sex life here, at Sciences Po, than before arriving in Menton… perhaps this response pool overlaps. It most likely does.
Don’t despair if you are not content vis-à-vis your “relationship” status. “Ppl [may] suck,” but our time here in this little lemon town is so short. A mere blip in a hopefully long and fruitful life. Although we can’t help the respondent who stated, “the girls here aren’t like her” (that’s tough, man), we may be able to provide some insight into the query: “Why date when you know you’re going to break up?”
Doesn’t this extend to every relationship at all points in our lives? When with people from all over the world, the time together becomes all that more precious (even if just for a night). We don’t mean to romanticize ephemeral interest, but if people were more communicative, more open with their interests and wants, less conscientious of speculative judgement at (few and far between) parties, maybe the satisfaction rates would be higher! Who knows, maybe for you 1As, your Valentine’s date for next year just gave a presentation on sanctions in Iraq.